Guilt & Grief

Grief is a harsh teacher. It taught me some things I had no desire to learn.

I’ve learned how to function, work, laugh, love, with a grief that seems never-ending.

I’ve learned that although I know in my soul my son is in Heaven, happy and perfectly healthy, the grief still invades.

I’ve learned that grief has a way of steering the mind into reliving memories that have you questioning every decision and choice you’ve made as a mother. Was I too strict, or not strict enough? Was I too critical of some of his choices? Was I supportive enough when he struggled? Did I praise enough, encourage enough, guide enough? How many wrong choices and bad decisions did I make as his mother? The burden of guilt felt heavy mixed with the grief.

And I’ve learned you have to work through the guilt before you can work through the grief.